First I have to admit I did not know what to expect by sharing the story of my third miscarriage. How would others view our present situation? Would it impact other’s faith as much as it impacted ours? The questions loomed in my mind over and over again like a never ending nightmare. How would our loss impact those around us?
Surprisingly as we approached the first hour of posting the previous blog the love began to pour in. As the love poured in so did the questions. How do you make it through a storm? How do you make it through your worst nightmare and still manage to stand? I will be the first, to be honest, and say it is not easy. The past two weeks reality struck so hard it managed to leave me to feel voiceless and without strength. Though I pressed my way through my various tasks with as much strength as I could manage most nights I laid in the bed unable to sleep, unable to pray, and unable to cry. It was so bad my husband Chad would tell me ” You spend most of the night tossing and turning”. It was such as tough spot to be in. So how do you manage to keep moving through life’s storm? How do you manage to stand after enduring a blow so mighty life seems too much to bear?
Here is what I had to realize:
1. Be real about what you are feeling.
Too often we have been taught by society, life, family, church, etc. that it’s okay to put on fronts about where we are in life. It is my honest opinion if people were openly able to share their experiences in life, life would be so much easier in general. Being real meant I as a Christian, woman, and the minister had to be real with my Heavenly Father. God knew I had more questions than answers and feeling more pain than purpose. It’s okay and human. No matter how bad things get in life vow to be real with what you are feeling.
2. Surround yourself with the right team!
To me, this is so very important for a number of reasons. While I will not provide you with a line by line detail on why this is so very important I will tell you this, surrounding yourself with the right people in the right season is the difference between life and death. In my moments of weakness having my team to speak life into us meant the world to us. In certain moments if we are honest the thoughts that we think during our storms are in no way positive. Sometimes we have to have a voice in our ears louder than our own. The problem comes when we listen to the wrong thing. Listening to the wrong thing and the wrong time might possibly cause you to forfeit your destiny. If Jesus was selective when he went to transform himself on the Mount of Transfiguration why would you believe that you yourself would not have to make this decision as well? Surround yourself with the right team and come hell or high waters you shall make it!
3. Each day do a little more than the day before!
During this two weeks difficult period many don’t know but after I would get dressed for work it took me another hour to gain enough energy to even make it to my car. I wanted to hide from the world. I wanted to hide from my husband. I wanted to hide from myself. There were days when I couldn’t pray. I realized that if I was going to make it I was going to have to push myself to do a little more even if that meant 10 extra minutes out and about because going back to the house for another sleepless night. It is easy to allow depression to slip unnoticed. It is easy to believe that if you hid things will resolve itself. I assure you things will not. You must make a decision each day to press yourself past your pain a little bit each day knowing after awhile things will be back to normal. If you find yourself struggling for an extended period of time I invite you to see professional help.
4. Give yourself time!
When life happens we have a tendency to want things to move expeditiously. I remember after my second miscarriage people would ask what could they do. Me being Christina I did what I would do. I asked for something no one could physically produce. I asked for a fast forward button. Now that I think of it that was hilarious but so true. I wanted the ability to press a button and the pain is a little more bearable to bear. Giving yourself time to cry, feel, and press forward is essential if you are ever going to press past your storm.
No matter where you might find yourself in the midst of your season know that I personally understand in more ways than one. I pray these steps help you accept where you are in the process. Know I am with you and for you. I love you tremendously. If you need me I’m here!