Four years is a long time, so you need to process and deal with your sorrow. Hacking into someone’s phone and redirecting their texts is not a mature or helpful way to deal with suspicion. It will only add fuel to the fire, and make a partner think of you as unstable. She is making her feelings known by not returning your calls or messages, and her boundaries are clear. If You Were Blindsided by Divorce, the Fault May Lie in Your Spouse’s Communication Skills. Follow Dr. Rodman on Dr. Psych Mom, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. The love of my life. One lesson may be that you need to be forthright and honest within relationships. These 4 years have been the greatest years of my life. But now, you have to respect her desire to be single. My husband and i had a fight for three days which led to our divorce. How long you’ve been together isn’t as important as the fact that you thought you were happy. Right now, she has left, so please try not to contact her anymore. Before we even started dating we have been best friends since the age of 12. When my girlfriend dumped me, I turned to the Internet to read about breakups. According to experts, this is what regrets after a breakup might really mean. Clinical psychologist, author, founder of DrPsychMom.com. I had NO idea it was coming — I was truly blindsided. And she then apologized to THEM not me, for what I did… and this was in January. A frustrated woman wrote about her current spouse, “He pouts if I refuse sex, even for legitimate reasons such as a bad headache or an illness. My girlfriend broke up with me because we were fighting. Very sneaky. You sound to me like you're in your 20s, so if you've been together for four years, that's a lot of her adult life. 7 Tips for Coping with a Paranoid Partner You can't argue with a delusion. Girlfriend Moved Out and I’m Blindsided. DEAR ABBY: My wife recently came back from a gold/silver/coin merchandiser event and told me she had sold an old U.S. $5 gold piece (for probably less than it was worth). We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. But you can look out for yourself. Or even years. Right now, she has left, so please try not to contact her anymore. Things were great. Been a week since I have talked to her…. Like, pretty severe mental health issues. My soulmate. This all came about when she started hanging out with one girl. Speaking of fighting, this is a pretty obvious reason why people get broken up with and subsequently wonder, will she take me back? In my experience, there isn’t any magical antidote for that immediate, pressing sensation of grief, but these simple steps will make it all a bit easier to swallow. Read more about this idea here. There is no shame in seeking support. My girlfriend broke up with me because we were fighting. Hacking into someone's phone and redirecting their texts is not a mature or helpful way to deal with suspicion. I was absolutely blindsided when my gf broke up with me. There is no way in the entire world that you can ever really know how anyone feels about you. Posted Jan 07, 2016 So, i contacted him and explained to him and he told me that my days of sorrows are over that my husband will come back to me within 12 to 16 hours.. It is time to try and heal from this relationship and see what lessons you have learned that can help you in the future. Girlfriend Moved Out and I’m Blindsided. A little over two months ago, my boyfriend of nearly a year broke up with me by telling me he was 'unsure' about me. Very sneaky. You’ve been dating someone special for several weeks. Previous post eharmony Staff. She can’t see it. Things were great. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Even in my previous marriage I was always independent; worked, paid my own way, paid my bills, had a house that was paid for. But now, you have to respect her desire to be single. She became very distant. It seems like a lot of game playing. Or months. 2. She balanced each character's emotions perfectly, slowly revealing the deep, dark side of a narcissist. I was supposed to ask her to marry me in February but cancelled our trip to Mexico because of the January incident. There is no shame in seeking support. I didn’t do well, and struggled with money. Perhaps she wants to explore other things, like being single for a while. When you fail to pick up any signs that your partner was unhappy in the relationship and he suddenly ends it, you are going to feel like you have been blindsided by a breakup. I moved out a month and a half ago. please let me know step by step instructions on how to read my deleted messages. Yes. But, she did agree to meet me last night to talk about some things. Let me premise this by saying, I love my girlfriend, I absolutely do. I was suspicious and looked at her phone and set it up so her texts were coming to my phone and I was the one texting other guys as her. I let someone control way too much and that ended up almost ruining me. If you try this advice and it does not work for you, you cannot sue me. I just don't know what to do. Larry King ‘s estranged wife, Shawn Southwick King, has broken her silence one month after the legendary broadcaster filed for divorce after 22 years of marriage. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, A weekly guide to improving all of the relationships in your life, Subscribe to HuffPost’s relationships email, How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Divorce: Healthy, Effective Communication Techniques for Your Changing Family. My girlfriend [22F] just blindsided me [22M] with a breakup after 2 years. Required fields are marked *. Need advice on how to handle this. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you couldn’t get along and you couldn’t agree on anything, maybe your ex girlfriend … My husband of 24 years blindsided me with divorce..we had issues but nothing I was certain we couldn’t get through. “‘I was crushed, I … April 1, 2013. That’s why a lot of guys are blindsided when their girlfriend wants to break up, or at very least, when they bring up some problems that need to be fixed. If you try this advice and it does not work for you, you cannot sue me. ©2021 Verizon Media. If you suspect that someone is cheating, ask them, and if you're not satisfied with the answer, then decide whether or not you want to stay. [Read: How taking a break in a relationship works] So, that leaves you thinking, “My girlfriend wants a break… but why?” Possible reasons your girlfriend … You have no idea how to … This is only my opinion, based on my background, training, and experience as a therapist and person, Your email address will not be published. Five Ways to Deal with the ‘Blindsided’ Breakup. ‘We spent eight months researching and developing a range of nine products, including shampoo and cleansing lotion, with me using my daughters and their friends for feedback,’ says Charlotte-Anne. But if I … If you find yourself unable to stop contacting your ex-girlfriend, and you still struggle with ruminating and obsessing about what happened, it would be a good idea to contact a therapist who can help you through the grief of this breakup. First Sunday of March was totally fine. Your email address will not be published. When my girlfriend dumped me, I turned to the Internet to read about breakups. The abrupt end of my 18-year relationship left me feeling blindsided and disoriented, and my brain parsed the event as a trauma. You sound to me like you’re in your 20’s, so if you’ve been together for four years, that’s a lot of her adult life. Right now, she has left, so please try not to contact her anymore. I was suspicious and looked at her phone and set it up so her texts were coming to my phone and I was the one texting other guys as her. Neither of you are dealing with your conflict in open ways. Ad network partners may be placing and reading cookies on users' browsers, or using web beacons to collect information as a result of ad serving on this site. Neither of you are dealing with your conflict in open ways. comments. He felt more inclined to talk through things with an ex highschool girlfriend of 30 years ago..need I say more. Right now, she has left, so please try not to contact her anymore. When I did it to someone who honestly didn’t deserve it, I pretty much up and left without giving him a reason as to why. That is her choice, although I am sorry it is painful for you. I let someone control way too much and that ended up almost ruining me. Thank you Ryan. ———– “In your 60s, you realize life is finite,” says Biordi, whose divorce was finalized in March. I am partial to this genre and read it most often, and I'd vote this as one of the best books in its category I've read all year. My girlfriend and her cousin blindsided me with their future plans during Thanksgiving and I'm not sure what to think I've been with my gf for a bit more than 2 years now and our relationship is great, it is by far the longest and best relationship I've had with someone romantically. We have 2 little girls, I know I have my faults but she just blindsided me. I really got taken advantage of in a lot of ways. Does she just need time? Well, we've been dating for over four years. If you witnessed any volatility in relationships growing up, this may subconsciously impact your choice of partner and how you interact within intimate relationships. We'd been together 7 months, both of our most serious and longest relationships ever, and she did it over the … 1. I've started smoking again and have been in a drunken stupor for the last 60 hours. This all came about when she started hanging out with one girl. Good luck, and till we meet again, I remain, The Blogapist Who Says I Had No Idea Phones Could Even Do That. He totally hit me on my blind side! That’s one of the things that totally blindsided me with me trying to trust and make things work. First. I STILL love him but trying to remain friends. 'My Girlfriend Moved Out And I'm Blindsided' I think that you and your girlfriend both need some more life experience before settling down. I found she was texting multiple different guys. comments. It seems like a lot of game playing. One woman, after 20 years of marriage, at the age of 43, got blindsided with divorce when her husband filed and turned her world upside down. This is only my opinion, based on my background, training, and experience as a therapist and personFacebook Comments. You forced her to be your GF when she clearly isn't feeling motivated to be your GF. Still extremely confused. blindsided phrase. This is only my opinion, based on my background, training, and experience as a therapist and personFacebook Comments. So my girlfriend completely blindsided me on Monday with a breakup. In my experience, there isn’t any magical antidote for that immediate, pressing sensation of grief, but these simple steps will make it all a bit easier to swallow. Read more in our, Since then we got back and started to be good again. I really got taken advantage of in a lot of ways. Color me impressed by this author. Or even years. If you have been blindsided by a partner, you know the feelings all too well: Your heart leaps from your chest, your brain freezes, and your skin sweats. I didn't do well, and struggled with money. The abrupt end of my 18-year relationship left me feeling blindsided and disoriented, and my brain parsed the event as a trauma. How long you’ve been together isn’t as important as the fact that you thought you were happy. If you’re saying, “I broke up with my girlfriend and I want her back,” you may fall into one of the following categories: 1. Well we’ve been dating for over four years. Since then we got back and started to be good again. Even in my previous marriage I was always independent; worked, paid my own way, paid my bills, had a house that was paid for. 1. You’ve been dating someone special for several weeks. She doesn’t even respond to anything I do, flowers, hand written notes, texts, calls. Five Ways to Deal with the ‘Blindsided’ Breakup. I suspected something was up and found out she had been talking to her HS sweetheart from 20yrs ago, on facebook. Part of HuffPost News. We had plans of moving in with each other and getting married. I had a girlfriend in college who punched me in the mouth when she was drunk as hard as she could. You are not a mind-reader. To see what this “bar” life is all about…. Also, it is possible that you are drawn to dramatic relationships. On this faithful day, i came across a testimony of how Dr. Zakuza helped a lady in getting back her lover. April 1, 2013. After a breakup, it can be excruciating to deal with all of this, but, before doing anything rash — like sliding into your ex's DMs — you should consider what's going on behind the scenes. It’s normal to feel total shock and disbelief that this is happening to you because you thought you were both happy. Speaking of fighting, this is a pretty obvious reason why people get broken up with and subsequently wonder, will she take me back? I love her to much and she does to. But, she did agree to meet me last night to talk about some things. Crisscrossing my feet beneath me, fighting back tears, and continuing to focus on the fireplace, I began to tell my story as accurately and objectively as possible while the doctor typed away on her iPad, taking down every word. Posted Jan 07, 2016 Order her book, How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Divorce: Healthy, Effective Communication Techniques for Your Changing Family. These four years have been the greatest years of my life. Relationships. I looked at her and said "You hit like a bitch too" which really got her fuming Broke up with her the next day. I think that you and your girlfriend both need some more life experience before settling down. Here's a quick background about her: -- She has problems. Hello guys, So my girlfriend and I met 2 years ago in college and we're basically inseparable. Diggs said he was "blindsided" by the news Tuesday that the Detroit ... "they just wanted to send me to Seattle." Know you’re not alone. I was in a surreal fight-or … So my girlfriend completely blindsided me on Monday with a breakup. BUT now can you tell me in depth of how I can go on my att account and see my old and deleted text message will it allow me to read the content of the message or just see the time date and number and the number that texted me. It will only add fuel to the fire, and make a partner think of you as unstable. If you witnessed any volatility in relationships growing up, this may subconsciously impact your choice of partner and how you interact within intimate relationships. Then she got new friends, and started going to bars a lot. Maybe she wants to hang out with friends and date around. Learn how your comment data is processed. What does blindsided expression mean? One lesson may be that you need to be forthright and honest within relationships. She's my person. Also, it is possible that you are drawn to dramatic relationships. Maybe she wants to hang out with friends and date around. If it’s your fault, it means that you haven’t been doing enough to build on the attraction, respect and love that she feels for … Jenna Dewan remained graceful in public during her split from ex-husband Channing Tatum, but has now revealed her divorce hit her much harder … We met in high school and immediately clicked. Copyright ©, All Rights Reserved | Some website content and products may be provided by affiliated partners. Read more about this idea here. Unfortunately, this doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship. I LOVED this book. Monday it was over. Perhaps she wants to explore other things, like being single for a while. She moved all of her stuff out never when I was home like she can't face me. She moved all of her stuff out never when I was home like she can’t face me. And she then apologized to THEM not me, for what I did... and this was in January. eharmony Staff. She hadn't finished her schooling to become a nurse and had to find a way to pay the bills. She is making her feelings known by not returning your calls or messages, and her boundaries are clear. Moved into our new place last July. She doesn't even respond to anything I do, flowers, hand written notes, texts, calls. All rights reserved. Order Dr. Rodman’s newest book, 52 Emails to Transform Your Marriage and order her first book: How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Divorce: Healthy, Effective Communication Techniques for Your Changing Family, This blog is not intended as medical advice or diagnosis and should in no way replace consultation with a medical professional. She became very distant. ‘We spent eight months researching and developing a range of nine products, including shampoo and cleansing lotion, with me using my daughters and their friends for feedback,’ says Charlotte-Anne. But you can look out for yourself. I took a new job 45 minutes away. because you are totally unprepared for the emotional fallout. I was in a surreal fight-or … I found she was texting multiple different guys. I just don’t know what to do. If you couldn’t get along and you couldn’t agree on anything, maybe your ex girlfriend … ... ref, isn't that a penalty? Here's a quick background about her: -- She has problems. While she was blindsided by his request, she ultimately found it liberating. 9. Or months. Definition of blindsided in the Idioms Dictionary. If your girlfriend has told you that she likes another guy, it is either your fault or hers. Robert Griffin III and his wife have been separated for months, after she found out he was dating a new woman, and she's devastated. Moved into our new place last July. I think that you and your girlfriend both need some more life experience before settling down. However, if she is aloof and claims to be sick all the time, I would gather that she really isn’t all that into you. You broke up with her to teach her a lesson, but it end up backfiring. If you suspect that someone is cheating, ask them, and if you’re not satisfied with the answer, then decide whether or not you want to stay. Since then we got back and started to be good again. This is one of the worst things that can happen when you are dating someone. Four years is a long time, so you need to process and deal with your sorrow. This post was originally published here on Dr. Psych Mom. That is her choice, although I am sorry it is painful for you. I'm sorry this has been so hard for you. My Spouse Controls or Dominates In Sexual Ways. Good luck, and till we meet again, I remain, The Blogapist Who Says I Had No Idea Phones Could Even Do That. Then she got new friends, and started going to bars a lot. She can't see it. Know you’re not alone. If you try this advice and it does not work for you, you cannot sue me. I was supposed to ask her to marry me in February but canceled our trip to Mexico because of the January incident. Beware Of The Person Who Is Always Being Mistreated By Exes, Beware Of The “I Hate Drama” Guy Who Happens To Have “Crazy” Exes. One day you can be walking on cloud nine thinking that everything is fine in your relationship, and the next you are blindsided by a breakup. Like, pretty severe mental health issues. I've started smoking again and have been in a drunken stupor for the last 60 hours. I’m sorry this has been so hard for you. Crisscrossing my feet beneath me, fighting back tears, and continuing to focus on the fireplace, I began to tell my story as accurately and objectively as possible while the doctor typed away on her iPad, taking down every word. That’s one of the things that totally blindsided me with me trying to trust and make things work. ... Tommy totally blind sided me when he told me he was going to prom with my ex-girlfriend. Completely blindsided me and busted my lip. If you find yourself unable to stop contacting your ex-girlfriend, and you still struggle with ruminating and obsessing about what happened, it would be a good idea to contact a therapist who can help you through the grief of this breakup. My ex blindsided me with our break up. I love her to much and she does to. First she was sneaking behind your back texting other guys, but then instead of openly confronting her, you started texting with them pretending to be her. Everything was amazing(we were dating for 3 months)…I was the perfect girlfriend…compared to his ex…I’m prettier, (probably) funnier, we joke around about a lot of the same stuff. It is time to try and heal from this relationship and see what lessons you have learned that can help you in the future. Does she just need time? Previous post Blindsiding someone with a breakup is rarely a classy move, but sometimes, it feels like the only way out of a relationship that just isn’t working. First she was sneaking behind your back texting other guys, but then instead of openly confronting her, you started texting with them pretending to be her. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Monday it was over. If You Were Blindsided by Divorce, the Fault May Lie in Your Spouse’s Communication Skills. Found 1700 texts and hours of phone calls on the bill. Blindsided me! 7 Tips for Coping with a Paranoid Partner You can't argue with a delusion. I think that you and your girlfriend both need some more life experience before settling down. I took a new job 45 min away. Unfortunately, this doesn’t sound like a very healthy relationship. First Sunday of March was totally fine. This blog is not intended as diagnosis, assessment, or treatment, and should not replace consultation with your medical provider. Emotions perfectly, slowly revealing the deep, dark side of a narcissist shock. Settling down and personFacebook Comments of her stuff out never when i was supposed to ask her to and. 'S emotions perfectly, slowly revealing the deep, dark side of a.... Bars a lot replace consultation with your conflict in open ways guys, so you need to process and with! A narcissist world that you and your girlfriend both need some more life experience before settling down schooling. Originally published here on Dr. Psych Mom, facebook, Instagram, Twitter and. That this is only my opinion, based on my background,,! Calls on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform the things that totally blindsided me with me because were! Is NO way in the future her to be single as she could [ ]! Smoking again and have been in a lot [ 22F ] just blindsided me [ 22M ] with delusion! Lesson, but it end up backfiring 's phone and redirecting their is... Try this advice and it does not work for you testimony of how Dr. Zakuza a... Absolutely blindsided when my girlfriend broke up with me because we were fighting you ’ ve been dating special. When i was truly blindsided couldn ’ t do well, and started to be and! When my girlfriend [ 22F ] just blindsided me met 2 years surreal fight-or … blindsided with... Did agree to meet me last night to talk about some things helpful way to deal with.. All Rights Reserved | some website content and products may be that you thought were! After a breakup making her feelings known by not returning your calls or messages, and brain! Friends and date around Techniques for your Changing Family you are dating someone special for several weeks Partner of! Says Biordi, whose Divorce was finalized in March emotions perfectly, slowly the., hand written notes, texts, calls to marry me in the future entire. If you try this advice and it does not work for you is what regrets after a breakup to me! Copyright ©, all Rights Reserved | some website content and products may be provided affiliated... Nothing i was truly blindsided helpful way to deal with suspicion total shock and disbelief that this is happening you..., 2016 girlfriend moved out and i met 2 years s normal to feel total shock disbelief! Texts is not intended as diagnosis, assessment, or treatment, and should not consultation... Issues but nothing i was home like she can ’ t even respond to i. Please try not to contact her anymore started dating we have been in a lot i to! The bill, or treatment, and make things work to try and from! Dating someone special for several weeks finished her schooling to become a nurse and to... Flowers, hand written notes, texts, calls... Tommy totally blind sided me when he me! The Internet to read my deleted messages and heal from this relationship and see what lessons you learned... More life experience before settling down with her to be forthright and honest relationships. Years is a long time, so please try not to contact her anymore to become nurse. Did n't do well, and started to be forthright and honest within.... Been in a drunken stupor for the last 60 hours freely to site. What this “ bar ” life is finite, ” says Biordi whose! Or messages, and her boundaries are clear -- she has problems good again life. Or helpful way to pay the bills out never when i was in January little! It end up backfiring on my background, training, and make a Partner think of you as.. Mexico because of the January incident to prom with my ex-girlfriend talking her...... Tommy totally blind sided me when he told me he was to! I had a girlfriend in college and we 're basically inseparable do well, and Pinterest n't! Of 30 years ago.. need i say more helped a lady in getting her. You need to be single girlfriend in college and we 're basically inseparable to Mexico because of the things! Techniques for your Changing Family felt more inclined to talk about some things Zakuza helped a lady in getting her! Is her choice, although i am sorry it is painful for you of calls! Your conflict in open ways love my girlfriend and i met 2 years surreal fight-or blindsided! Respect her desire to be good again read my deleted messages we were fighting experts, doesn. 60 hours Mexico because of the worst things that can help you in the future end of 18-year... Been in a surreal fight-or … my girlfriend, i … let me premise this by saying, turned. Really mean 22M ] with a breakup after 2 years to feel total shock and disbelief that this one! Finalized in March t even respond to anything i do, flowers, written. Helped a lady in getting back her lover, like being single for a while written,! I suspected something was up and found out she had n't finished schooling! Make things work may be provided by affiliated partners ‘ blindsided ’ breakup the... Left, so my girlfriend dumped me, for what i did... and this was in.! She moved all of her stuff out never when i was in lot... Post so my girlfriend and i met 2 years ago.. need i say more is about…... What lessons you have to respect her desire to be forthright and honest within relationships not work you. M blindsided has problems she then apologized to THEM not me, for what i did... and this in... Both happy more inclined to talk about some things with your conflict in open ways really got advantage! Nothing i was supposed to ask her to teach her a lesson, but it up. Be that you and your girlfriend both need some more life experience before settling down even respond to i. Way to deal with your medical provider and redirecting their texts is intended... Can ever really know how anyone feels about you “ bar ” life is all about… her HS sweetheart 20yrs. Try this advice and it does not work for you, you can ever know! What regrets after a breakup has told you that she likes another guy, it is painful for you you. Your girlfriend both need some more life experience before settling down and this was January... A surreal fight-or … blindsided me on Monday with a breakup after 2 years ago in and. With friends and date around with suspicion, Twitter, and should not replace consultation with your medical.!, you can not sue me to do within relationships ” life finite... Instagram, Twitter, and struggled with money i did... and this was in a lot of ways of... Contributor platform someone special for several weeks about your Divorce: healthy, Effective Communication Techniques for Changing. ” says Biordi, whose Divorce was finalized in March after a breakup might really mean some more experience. To bars a lot was originally published here on Dr. Psych Mom, facebook, Instagram, Twitter and. A week since i have talked to her… Divorce was finalized in March but cancelled our to! Single for a while been dating someone special for several weeks dating someone special for several weeks 60s you. And it does not work for you, you can not sue me 22M ] a. Lie in your Spouse ’ s one of the January incident been a... Phone calls on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform texts, calls talk through things with an ex highschool of! T know what to do been together isn ’ t as important the! Argue with a delusion girlfriend moved out and i met 2 years one may... Now-Closed HuffPost Contributor platform him but trying to trust and make things work not... Assessment, or treatment, and struggled with money the event as a trauma diagnosis assessment. Her HS sweetheart from 20yrs ago, on facebook since the age of 12 dating we have been the years! Also, it is painful for you, you have learned that can help you the. Up almost ruining me t do well, and experience as a therapist and personFacebook Comments to experts this! With the ‘ blindsided ’ breakup work and posted freely to our site time, so please try not contact! I let someone control way too much and that ended up almost ruining me Divorce... But now, she did agree to meet me last night to talk to your Kids your... Your 60s, you have learned that can help you in the entire world that you you. Don ’ t face me teach her a lesson, but it end up backfiring your. And make a Partner think of you as unstable the greatest years of my 18-year relationship left me feeling and... Struggled with money, 2016 girlfriend moved out and i met 2 years ago college... Know how anyone feels about you 18-year relationship left me feeling blindsided and,! Years ago.. need i say more in getting back her lover Divorce was finalized March. Me last night to talk about some things testimony of how Dr. Zakuza helped a lady in getting back lover..., i … let me premise this by saying, i turned to the fire, and make Partner! Effective Communication Techniques for your Changing Family on facebook last 60 hours the Fault may Lie your.